Venting About My Parents

Warning: I'm sorry I'm posting this on this blog, but I can't really post it on my own, because it's not private like this one is.

I just have to say that I really am so very upset with my parents. They have completely saddened, embarassed, and disappointed me.

For all of you who don't know what's going on in that area of my life right now.... I've basically removed me (and Eric and the boys) from that toxic relationship that we had with my parents. Nothing has changed, they are not making an effort to change and I feel as unhappy as I ever have with them. I basically told my mom that in an e-mail, also telling her not to call or e-mail me back. Yet she keeps commenting, like nothing is the matter, on my blog (which I figured she would continue to check anyway) putting my sister in the middle to send me messages, and expects to see me and the boys next month when she comes out this way for Monica's lasik surgery. She continues to either ignore or not understand what I'm telling her.

And today....my dad basically called and left a message on my answering machine threatening legal action if we didn't let them see the boys. C'mon! What kind of parents/grandparents would do that!? Why can't they just understand what I'm feeling and respect my wishes??? Why can't they see that I'm so much happier when I don't have to deal with them? I'm miserable when it comes to them. I hate answering the phone when she calls...I hate opening e-mails from her...because I never know what rude, selfish, and manipulative thing she's going to say next. (Seriously, I scream at the phone when she calls, especially if it's more than one time a day.)

I'm so sad that it had to come to this. Every one of you guys know how many chances we've given them, how many times we've forgiven them, and how many times we've tried to let things go and move on with them. I just can't deal with it anymore. It's affecting my emotional well-being too much, and I don't want the venom of my mother's bite to ever reach my children; it's already affected way too much of my life that I don't want it affecting theirs.

I suppose on the plus side, though, all of the stress that this is causing me is making me forget and/or not want to eat, just like when I was in high-school (when I may have been slightly anorexic due to control issues...caused by my parents). So I suppose that's some strategy talk for ya!

I apologize if you didn't want to read this. Like I said, I've been wanting to get this out for a while, but feel like I can't put it on my own blog.